I am Peter.
I am the impulsive, erratic and emotional disciple of Christ. I was very bold when I said I would stand up for Him no matter what as we dined one evening. I, too, was the one who denied Him thrice, by the way.
A coward like me deserved death, especially since I watched my Master being betrayed by His friends. Of His friends, I was the worst, well, uhm, perhaps not the worst… Judas Iscariot did something directly to have him arrested and convicted, but let’s just say that I was one of His accusers by denying Him, but nobody knew. Everyone knew I was one cool disciple, and that was the hardest part.
My world stopped when that rooster crowed. For others, their day had just begun, but as for me, I have slumped to self-detestation, and more than anything else, guilt for failing my Master.
So after what I did, after rehearsing the guilt in my mind like a broken CD, I decided to leave it all behind me and go fishing with my friends. It was a fruitless night; we caught no fish. A guy on the shore shouted, “Cast your net on the right side!” We didn’t know who He was, but we obeyed. We didn’t have a choice, did we? Out of desperation we obeyed. Surprisingly and miraculously, we caught fish! Lots of it! Miracle. It was a miracle that only came from the Son of God… Could it be…?
I don’t know how it had escaped my friends, but I had a feeling… a strange feeling. Master! It was my Master!
I jumped out of the boat and into the biting cold of the sea. I swam to the shore to meet my Master. I had to make amends, I thought. If he shouted at me and yelled at me, or slapped me on the face like most people do when angry — I would accept it for I truly deserved such treatment.
“Lovest thou me?” He asked.
“Yes, Lord…” I replied. “Feed my lambs,” He said.
“Lovest thou me?” He asked again. I gave the same reply as before. “Feed my sheep,” He repeated.
I was in a quandary. What was the questioning all about? It was an opportune time to slap me on the face with something like, “Hey, Peter, you failed me… I counted on you yet you failed me…”, but He didn’t. I wondered what the next question would be…
“Peter, lovest thou me?”
“Lord, You do know that I love You…” I cried. He truly doubted my love for Him, what with I had done, I thought.
“Feed my sheep…” He said, and then, “Follow me…”
I was filled with joy! Jesus was asking me to follow Him! It was forgiveness in its highest form — desiring to be His follower once again…
Like the rest of my friends who went fishing that night, Jesus wanted to promote me to become a fisher of man. And to check on my loyalty, he wanted to hear that I loved Him three times, so I don’t betray Him thrice again…
Jesus said I would be crucified. But I didn’t care about how my life would end, anymore. That night at the plaza where I betrayed Him thrice, I had feared for my life, but no longer. Jesus has clearly shown that He conquered even death. Perdition had no dominion over Him… As His follower, death shall also lose its power over me…
Now I know why Jesus asked about how deep my love was for Him. If I were to really feed His flock and be a fisher of man, I would need LOVE above all else… Following Him and feeding sheep could be a thankless job a lot of times…
I love Jesus. That is the reason why I took the opportunity to preach the Gospel in Jerusalem one day. Thousands of people were converted and had a change of heart. The authorities, however, did not like it one bit. They didn’t understand why I chose to preach knowing that my end will be death. But I chose to die for Him who died for me, even as I was the impulsive, erratic, and emotional disciple of my Master.
I hope I am known in history as that disloyal disciple who after having been forgiven by the Master, chose also to die for Him, for I did die for Him. It was an honor to give my life for Him, and eventually, live with Him in glory.
